Live Blogging: Clemens Congressional Hearings

{This article was originally published on Hot Stove New York.}

9:29
Yep, so we’re giving this Live Blogging thing a try. Considering how jazzed we are about today’s hearing, it seemed an appropriate time to jump in the pool.

9:40
Whoa, things are getting started in a hurry. According to ESPN’s T.J. Quinn, in exchange for being excused from today’s hearings, Andy Pettitte signed a new affidavit in which he confirmed knowledge that Clemens had used human growth hormone.

9:48
While we wait…
Today in the Journal News, Derek Jeter is disappointed in how this has all played out, and thinks the fallout will affect Pettitte’s season.

And some more on Pettitte’s sworn affidavit in which he states that Clemens admitted to HGH use.

9:55
ESPN’s legal expert doesn’t like the idea that Pettitte suddenly remembers further details on his own and Clemens’ HGH use. For someone who we’re constantly hearing is such a good, honest, and God-fearing man, Andy’s gotten himself tangled up in quite a web of deceit.

10:05
Jeez, the evidence is staring us in the face. Melon head, brontosaurus neck - and that’s just Debbie Clemens.

10:06
And we’re off!

10:10
Chairman Henry A. Waxman says Mitchell’s report is both “impressive and credible.” Oh, in that case I guess we can all go home. Except you. You stay right here and keep refreshing your browser.

10:12
Waxman seems like he’s planning on rambling on for a while. Do I have time for a beer run? What? It’s after 10…

10:14
Knoblauch confirmed all of McNamee’s claims against him - not sure if that was known previously. Pettitte confirmed his own use as well, of course, which we already knew. Waxman is commending both for their candor and cooperation…unlike some people.

10:17
Alright, now Waxman is calling Pettitte “a role model on and off the field” for his cooperation with the committee. Now hold on, he did cheat, right? Maybe I missed something. I could’ve sworn he cheated…

10:18
Waxman’s got the perfect mug for something like this. He’s almost daring you to keep a straight face. Clemens stare is plainly lost in the Chairman’s nostrils.

10:22
Waxman’s trashing McNamee for withholding evidence until recently, and not telling the whole truth, clearly questioning the witness’s credibility. He goes on to praise Clemens for his generosity and charitable work. I have a feeling there’s a big BUT coming however…

10:27
Boy was there ever. Roger, you’re a great guy, BUT…here’s a laundry list of inconsistencies, inaccuracies and flat-out lies in your testimony. Evidently McNamee actually allowed Clemens’ attorneys to interview him concerning the information he had provided Mitchell PRIOR to the release of the report. They know this because the conversation was secretly recorded (Take that, Rog!). Clemens has always claimed he had no knowledge of his inclusion in the report until its release.

10:30
Didn’t take long for Debbie Clemens to get dragged into this. Andy claims that Roger told him about his own HGH use (Mrs. Pettitte backs her hubby’s recollection), while Roger claims Andy is mistaken and that he only told his friend about his wife Debbie’s HGH injections. Sounds like Operation: Get Behind the Wifey.

10:36
I’m wondering, who recommended the haircut for Rog? Nothing says credibility like a skinhead.

10:37
Rog is telling us a bit about his childhood and upbringing now. We’re here to get to know each other after all. It’s like eHarmony, except on Capitol Hill.

Note: He’s not just a ballplayer, he’s a human being.

10:40
Roger asks, “How can you prove a negative?” It’s a fair question. I have no smart remark.

10:42
Could there be a starker physical contrast between Brian McNamee and Roger Clemens? I mean, look at this guy. If possible, his haircut is worse than Roger’s.

10:45
More unintelligible: Clemens’ Texas drawl or McNamee’s New York mouth full of dirty socks? Anyway, Mac now says he never trusted Clemens, which is why he saved evidence.

10:47
McNamee confirms that his tipping point was the secretly tape recorded conversation between he and Clemens that Roger later played at a live press conference. That’s when the gloves came off. Nice.

10:49
Clemens agrees that Andy Pettitte is no liar. No surprise there. In fact, I think I heard somewhere that he’s honest and God-fearing…

10:51
Now Congressman Cummings is reading quotes from Andy Pettitte that Waxman already read at the start. Time for that beer run?

10:53
This Clemens character’s got some shifty eyes.

10:58
Cummings is now reading the affidavits by Pettitte and his wife. Clemens breaks down in tears and admits to everything. No, no, he’s sticking by his position that Andy clearly misremembers or misunderstood.

11:00
Just saw the text Andrew Pettitte Affidavit. Heh, heh…Andrew.

11:03
Pettitte and McNamee both recollect a conversation in which McNamee became angry when he learned that Clemens had confided in Pettitte about his HGH use, because the information was supposed to be confidential.

11:09
Evidently Mike Stanton noticed Clemens bleeding through his “designer pants” and subsequently Roger carried around band-aids for his butt…according to McNamee. So where’s Mike Stanton when you need him? Maybe the committee should’ve pushed the hearing back another month to track him down.

11:14
Ah, the Canseco barbeque. McNamee says Clemens was there, Canseco supports Clemens’ claim that he wasn’t. Of course, Canseco’s also pretty desperate for money at the moment. Just saying…

Debbie Clemens is prepared to testify under oath that Roger Clemens never ever attends barbeques.

11:16
They’re now asking Clemens how long on average it takes him to play a round of golf. Clearly the fate of our youth hinges on that question.

11:23
You can tell the committee is very impressed by Clemens…because they keep saying so. McNamee, on the other hand, comes across as somewhere between a vole and a worm. You would think members of Congress would have been more mindful of not getting caught up in the persona of one of the more larger-than-life figures in professional sports. Inviting him into their offices for autograph sessions probably wasn’t the best idea…

11:27
Clemens is being pressed on some inconsistencies in his testimony. Roger leans back for some whispered consultation from his attorney and the room is immediately on fire with flash bulbs and camera clicks. High drama.

11:31
Debbie Clemens is much more attractive in person than in her Sports Illustrated shoot. Aside from her washboard abs, it’s not a flattering photo.

11:36
Dan Burton wants Brian McNamee’s blood.

11:39
Burton’s right that McNamee has lied an awful lot. McNamee is fighting an uphill battle to establish his credibility. Burton, though, is wrong to bring up quotes that McNamee may have delivered to various news outlets digging for information on Pettitte and Clemens following the Jason Grimsley affidavit. What did he expect? For McNamee to sell out his clients right then and there? Refusing comment to a journalist is very different from lying under oath - though incidentally, McNamee’s done that as well.

11:45
Ah, and now for the topic on everyone’s minds: Butt abscesses.

11:45
Whoa, I was only joking, but it sounds like there might be something to this butt abscess stuff. According to an MRI obtained by the committee, the injury was not caused by muscle strain, but rather “likely related to the patient’s prior attempted intramuscular injections.” And while the injury could have been caused by B12 injections, it was the opinion of the medical examiner that the injury was more consistent with complications from a steroid injection. It’s only this one guy’s opinion, however, and Clemens has medical records that support his B12 claim.

11:47
Haha, one of Clemens’ weasel attorneys just tried to address the floor in response to these medical records, only to be shot down. Apparently the rules of the hearing allow for witnesses to consult their attorneys, but do not allow for the attorneys themselves to address the committee.

12:04
Update: They’re still discussing Roger’s buttocks.

12:10
Not sure how Father Time found his way into the room, but he found himself a mic and is now grilling Charles P. Scheeler, who worked closely with Senator Mitchell on his report on steroids. Scheeler’s here largely to place a body between Clemens and McNamee. I’m not sure he expected to speak at all today - seems a bit rattled.

12:13
There is shouting coming from another room and an alarm or buzzer of some sort can be heard in the background. I think the nation might be under attack. McNamee seems understandably unnerved as he tries not to wet himself on national television.

12:15
Congressman Mica is asking what color the different steroids are, evidently trying to determine what exactly was in his protein shake this morning. It’s a shame that as a society we seem to have done away with the guy waiting off-stage to drag people off with a cane. Mica seems a prime candidate.

12:18
Congresswoman Maloney’s eyelids don’t appear to open fully. I thought at first she was talking in her sleep. I wonder if she cultivates this look, or if there’s a good reason for it and I’m in poor taste for bringing it up. Clemens seems torn between staring at Maloney’s eyelids or Waxman’s humungous nostrils.

12:22
Speaking of Waxman’s nostrils, it would seem like a fun game to see who could shove that largest object up the Chairman’s nose. I’m staring at a fairly large grape that I’m confident I could wedge up there with room to spare.

12:24
Uh oh, looks like Congressman Souder actually read the depositions. It’s always a shock when these politicians show up for work prepared.

12:28
Souder has experience in narcotics and sees a ton of similarities here. Unlike Congressman Burton, Souder sees the inconsistencies between McNamee’s earlier statements and his deposition as extremely consistent with drug dealers he’s dealt with. These witnesses seem to surrender only enough information to save their own skins until some event ticks them off and prompts them to spill the whole beans - in this instance, the recorded phone call between Clemens and McNamee.

12:31
Clemens says he didn’t have a car in high school so he ran home. And his mother worked three jobs. And we should believe everything he says.

12:35
Missed the name, but one congressman just asked what uniform Clemens will wear to the Hall of Fame. First of all, the correct question would be, which hat, not which uniform. Secondly, the guy’s not going to the Hall - haven’t you been paying attention? And thirdly, get a job.

Souder also urges us all to read the deposition of Chuck Knoblauch, whom he says spoke passionately about coming clean for the sake of his family. I haven’t read the deposition myself, of course, but I’d urge others as well. I certainly plan on it.

12:38
Waxman on several occasions says the committee sought out Clemens’ nanny during the time period of the Canseco barbeque in order to corroborate McNamee’s claim that Clemens attended the gathering. Clemens and Co. were not very cooperative and the committee wasn’t able to reach the nanny until Monday. Waxman’s nostrils look pissed.

12:41
Bombshell time. The nanny confirms that she remembers a party at Canseco’s during the time period is question and also that she recalls that Roger, Debbie, and the kids all attended the party. When the nanny spoke to the committee, she informed them that Clemens invited her to his home on Sunday prior to forwarding her information to the committee on Monday, spoke to her about the time in question, and subjected her to an interview by his attorneys. Clemens’ legal team is now standing and practically yelling at the Chairman. There’s even some finger wagging going on. It’s about time for some fireworks.

12:45
What’s with this “out of time” crap? Things were just getting good, and now we’re on to the next topic? This NannyGate stuff has some real potential!

12:52
15-minute recess! Now I think it’s time for that beer run. Let me know if I miss anything.

1:07
Just flipped over to Mike and the Mad Dog for a moment. Francesa is embarrassed for Congress that the hearing seems to have broken so clearly along party lines with Republicans looking to pound McNamee and Democrats looking to pound Clemens, who of course is a Republican from Texas with ties to President Bush. Chris Russo meanwhile just called Congressman Burton an idiot or clown, or some other derisive label. I have to agree.

On a related note, I’m upping the ante on the Nostril Game. I think I can squeeze Russo’s schnoz up one of Waxman’s nostrils. Beat that!

1:16
It seems 15-minutes in Congress really means half an hour. Think Roger’s fled the scene? I shouldn’t kid; the dedication of these men is admirable. I’ve had to pee four times since this thing started. I think my going problem might be a growing problem.

1:21
Did Congressman Davis just say the nanny’s name is Lily Strane? Strame? Did I mishear that? I thought we were concealing her name to protect her privacy…

1:33
Man, a 30-minute recess really sucks the energy out of a room. I think McNamee just dozed off.

1:38
Okay, here we go. Clemens is getting all hot and bothered because he feels Senator Mitchell didn’t make a good-faith effort to contact him prior to the release of the report. He says he’s a public figure easily tracked down, and that the former President of the United States found him in a deer-blind in South Texas when he needed to get ahold of him…which I don’t think really is the best example. I mean, where else would he be?

1:43
Congressman Braley wants to know if Clemens is a vegan. Clemens doesn’t know what that is. Score one for Clemens. I see what Francesa was saying about the party lines. Braley’s a Democrat and he’s chosen to go after Clemens for his use of B12, because not everyone thinks it’s the wisest thing to inject without a distinct medical need such as a severe vitamin deficiency. The injection, however, is legal and common in the game…so why the heck is this guy wasting our time?

1:46
Congressman Darrell E. Issa (R) says PHD sounds like it stands for “Pile it Higher and Deeper.” Funny. Issa’s mother used to take B12 injections, and as a result, he seems to think Braley’s a bit of a dunce. I’m no redneck, but I agree with the Republican congressman from California.

1:52
Now congressmen are just repeating questions that other congressmen have already asked. It should be noted that members of the committee have been leaving throughout the hearing in order to take place in various votes taking place on the floor, which could be a reason why no one appears to be listening to anything anyone else is saying. Or perhaps this is just how things get done in Washington. I wouldn’t know, I’m a nihilist.

2:02
When John F. Tierney talks I keep hearing Mayor Quimby. Is it just me? And is it a coincidence that he’s a Democrat from Massachusetts named John F.?

2:08
Missed the name again, but a congresswoman (I’m a guessing a Republican) just whipped out photos of Clemens dating back to 1996 in which he looked physically comparable to the way he appeared in the subsequent years in question. Now Roger’s talking about how great he is and how stupid people were for indicating he was in the “twilight” of his career at the end of his time in Boston. Yawn.

2:19
The congresswoman in question was Virginia Foxx, and yes, she’s a Republican. Now she’s ripping the Mitchell Report.

2:21
Waxman just had to lay down the gavel on this Foxx lady. What’re the odds that someone throws a chair by the end of this thing? 40-60? 50-50? Either way, I’ll take it.

2:23
I was having a bit of fun just there, but I do sympathize with Ginny Foxx, and it goes back to what I said before. What’s with this “out of time” crap? How do you make any progress on anything when no one’s allowed to see a point through to its conclusion? It’s like channel surfing - there’s lots of information to process, but I have no idea what’s going on.

2:25
Congressman Elijah Cummings decides to bring Andy Pettitte back into the debate. “You’re one of my heroes,” says Cummings to Clemens. “But it’s hard to believe you.” Roger seemed to waver for a moment at that. Is it possible that we could see tears by the end of the day?

2:36
McNamee just got an opportunity to get on a soap box and talk about how the Mitchell Report only scratches the surface of the problem in baseball, and there remains a dire need to educate people about the dangers and consequences of performance enhancing drugs. A nice way to conclude for the trainer who’s been painted in an extremely unflattering light all day.

2:40
They’re wrapping up now as Waxman delivers his final statement. The Chairman just had to deliver the second gavel stomp of the day in order to quiet Clemens, who once again attempted to defend himself against the implications of Andy Pettitte’s affidavit. Waxman also took the opportunity to apologize to McNamee for the way that he’s been treated by some members of the committee today, which was kinda unnecessary in my opinion for the Democratic congressman. We’re making friends with Brian McNamee now?

2:45
You’re still here? It’s over. Go home.